How to Grow Your Hair Out Without the Awkward Stage
The awkward stage happens because the back and sides grow at the same rate as the top, so a short cut turns into a puffy helmet before it becomes anything with shape. You avoid it by not simply skipping the barber. Keep booking, but change the brief: let the top grow untouched, have the neckline and the hair around the ears tidied every six to eight weeks, and leave the back to catch up. Hair grows roughly a centimetre a month, so going from a short back and sides to hair that covers the ears takes six months or more, and shoulder length a year or two.
Why growing out looks so bad in the middle
A short cut is built around contrast: sides close, top longer. When you stop cutting, every part grows at about the same pace. The sides, which started shortest, become bulky first, and because side hair grows outwards before it has enough weight to hang down, the head looks wider. At the same time the neckline creeps down the collar and the hair around the ears starts flicking out. The top, which you actually want long, is still not long enough to do anything useful.
That is the awkward stage: roughly months two to five for most men. It is not a failure of patience. It is a shape problem, and shape problems are what a barber fixes.
The plan, stage by stage
| Roughly | What is happening | What to ask the barber |
|---|---|---|
| Months 0 to 2 | Sides lose their sharpness; top gains a little | Leave the top alone; clean the neckline; no clipper on the sides |
| Months 2 to 5 | Sides puff out, back hits the collar, top still shortish | Remove bulk from the sides with scissors, not length; tidy around the ears; keep the back neat |
| Months 5 to 8 | Top and sides are closer in length; hair starts to fall | Light layering to give shape; decide on a parting; trim ends only |
| Months 8 onwards | Hair covers the ears and starts to hang | Regular “dusting” of the ends; reshape the back so it does not look like a mullet |
The timings are a guide only. Hair growth varies from person to person, and curly hair takes longer to look longer because the curl takes up length. Our post on how fast hair grows explains the variation.
Why you should keep seeing a barber
The instinct is to stop booking cuts entirely, because every visit feels like a step backwards. In practice, the men who grow out most smoothly are the ones who keep a regular appointment but walk in with a different brief. A “growing out” visit is mostly detail work: shaping around the ears, cleaning the neckline, taking weight out of the sides so they lie flatter, and leaving almost all the length on top.
Every visit with the Highgate Cuts team starts with an assessment of your hair and what you need. Say clearly at the start that you are growing it out and roughly how long you want it to be. That one sentence changes how the whole cut is approached. If you want help with phrasing, see how to tell your barber what you want.
What to say in the chair
- “I am growing it out to roughly [ear length / chin length / shoulders].”
- “Please do not take any length off the top.”
- “Can you take bulk out of the sides without making them shorter?”
- “Keep it tidy around the ears and at the neck.”
- “Where should the parting go as it gets longer?”
And one thing to avoid saying: “just a tidy up”. To most barbers, that means trimming everything slightly, which is exactly what you do not want.
Getting through the middle months
Change how you style it
The short-hair styling you are used to stops working. Pushing hair up with clay makes the head look wider during the bulky phase. Instead, start directing it back or to the side with a light cream or paste, so the weight sits flatter. A blow dryer on a medium setting, pointed in the direction you want the hair to fall, does more than any product.
Use the parting
A side parting, even a loose one, gives growing hair a structure and stops it sitting like a dome. Your barber can tell you where your natural parting falls.
Keep the hair healthy
Longer hair has been on your head for longer, so it is more exposed to sun, wind, hard water and heat styling. Condition every wash, towel-dry by pressing rather than rubbing, and avoid hot tools on high settings. Nothing you put on your hair will make it grow faster, though. The NHS notes that changes in hair growth or sudden shedding can have medical causes worth discussing with a GP.
Have a fallback
Hats, a little more product, or a tighter neckline before an important event can carry you through a bad week. If the top is long enough, tucking the sides behind the ears often transforms the look.
Common mistakes
- Growing out from a skin fade without warning. The very short sides take months to catch up. Our separate guide to growing out a fade deals with that specific problem.
- Trimming it yourself. The neckline is the one area people attempt at home and usually make shorter and more uneven than intended.
- Giving up at month four. This is usually the low point. The shape tends to improve quickly once the sides have enough weight to drop.
- Letting the back race ahead. Hair at the nape can grow into a mullet shape before the sides reach the same length. Keep it in check.
Questions we get asked
How long until my hair covers my ears?
From a short back and sides, typically four to six months, depending on how short the sides were and how fast your hair grows.
Do I need to cut it to make it grow?
No. Trimming does not speed growth. It keeps the ends healthy and the shape tidy, which makes the length you have look better.
What length should I aim for first?
A good first target is a medium-length style that sits just over the ears. Reassess from there.
Can I book a short shape-up visit?
Email us and ask what is on the barber menu at The Highgate House; the team will advise how long to allow.
Book with The Highgate House
Ready for a proper cut? Email us at [email protected] with the service and the day that suits you, and we will come back to you with times.
Visit The Highgate House · The barbers
The Highgate House, Archway Road, Highgate, London N6.
